His eyes...

I'm at work right now, and I can't help but remember this guy.... He had the most beautiful eyes. When I looked into his eyes, he was piercing my soul. It's as if, he could look straight to my heart and my thoughts were exposed. It's unfortunate that we are thousands of miles apart. I still think about him, dream about him, sometimes wish I was with him. But I know, I can't.

I was reading this book, "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck and he defined love in this manner: the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth. It seems too deep eh? but it's true though.

There are many levels of love: agape (pure love; love for God); eros (romantic love; lust); philia (platonic love) and I think when you truly love someone, it just means wanting to see that person grow to his/her potential. If your being in his/her life diminishes or distracts that person from his/her spiritual growth, however difficult it may be, then you have no choice but to leave.

You know that saying, "If you love someone, let them go...." (I hate this saying! LOL) If you truly love someone, why do you have to leave? I mean, why can't you just stay friends and inspire one another as you go through this journey called life? Why complicate things when you yourself aren't ready to complicate them?

Love could be synonymous with fear. Love is such a strong emotion that when it hits you, the first thing that comes to you naturally is to run away. Why? Because we aren't ready to give 100% of ourselves to that person or we just don't want to commit.

Regardless of the distance, you can still remain emotionally attach to someone and that's even worse... because that person can haunt you... in your deepest slumber... he appears out of nowhere.. invading your thoughts, your fantasies, your dreams. And you awaken, not knowing how to react.. whether to smile or to get angry because you allowed yourself to be vulnerable.

I liked what Meg Ryan said in the movie, "You've got mail". Her character said: "Why do people say it's not personal, it's business! Because it truly is personal." I had gotten my heart broken and I hate to say it, but I'm still not over the guy. Maybe because there is no form of closure and maybe because I just loved the guy too much.

Love sucks! LOL Just kidding.

I look forward to falling in love again. Maybe this time, just loving the person enough... if there is such a thing.

--Anne--