Tuesday, May 1, 2007

New month

Can you believe its May already? Goodness gracious... time really does fly huh?
I have semi bad news... I decided not to pursue soccer. One, I really suck at it. Two, it's just not my thing. Sports is not for me. I tried it... I might have stuck to it longer, but what's the point right?

Life is all about experiencing new things... but also accepting the fact that not all things are meant for you. I have graciously accepted the fact that I'll never be a Sport enthusiast... it's just not in me. Okay. Case closed.

I was walking outside my house tonight, just thinking... of where my life is headed... what direction I need to take... the kind of people I have in my life. I was also thinking of the kind of person that I want to be....

Anyway, I'm enjoying my life now, but I know it could be better... I need to be in a creative environment. I need to be intellectually stimulated and not just waste away watching tv and vegging out all day. I tried that for three years, no thank you. Although it's tempting. It's easy for life to be lead that way, but isn't it just so boring? You're watching life pass by.... being a spectator to all the action when you can be a participant. I don't want to be an spectator my whole life. Even if I don't play such a significant role, I'd still want to be in on the action.
For now, I'm just going to look for new opportunities... new creative outlets.... so asta la vista.


Sunday, April 8, 2007

A new day has begun...

Happy Easter everyone! How is everyone doing? I hope y'all had a great time. I did. My day started at 5 am because our service at church was at 6. I had to dance with my tambourine team and it was so cool. I was getting better, so hehe. I love dancing, esp. in the morning. There's nothing like it.

Then afterwards, I attended a birthday party at the beach. It was hot but worth it. Batman came to the party! LOL It was so cute how the kids were going ga-ga for him. I went back to church for a class I'm taking then went straight to a friend's birthday party. That was fun because we sang karaoke and I'm always up for a singing party. I got like 98 on the scores too! LOL

I had an awesome time with this person last night... He was fun to be with and I like hanging out with him. I'm sort of used to having him around; talking to him. It's the closest thing to having a boyfriend. Speaking of which, what is a boyfriend anyway? Someone who is a witness to your life right? I heard that explanation from a movie once. A companion; someone to be with at events; someone who buys you dinner sometimes and just someone to be there for you; to laugh at your sometimes corny jokes and just smile at you for no reason.

I have to say that I'm quite happy with my life right now. Everything is going right and I love it.

I love you guys.

Missing y'all.
Anne of Saipan

Friday, March 30, 2007

New friend, new hairstyle

I met a new friend. His name is Jeff. He's really nice and he makes me laugh. (That's it!) LOL. I'm not sure if I like him-like him... maybe I do, but we're getting to know each other...

I also have bangs! For the first time in my life. I just wanted to do something different with my hair. I was going to get it colored but someone adviced me not so, so I didn't. Anyway, I like my new hairdo. It's something new, so I like it.

This afternoon, I just realized that I've grown so much. Everything. Physically, emotionally. I still feel stuck in the past at times, but I'm kind of redirecting that to the future.
Anyway, y'all have a great day.


What goes around comes around

I heard this song from Justin and I automatically loved it. I'm biased I know.. but whatever. I do agree with him though: what goes around DEFINITELY comes around.

I told my friend Ryan this a couple of years ago: whatever you give life, may it be good or bad, that's what you'll get back. So if you reap goodness, you'll sow goodness. If you reap negativity, you'll get negativity. It's pretty simple right?

Having my "down time" is pretty good. I'm taking a break from school for a while and just re-prioritizing things. It's going well. I have more time to think and contemplate on what matters most which is family, friends, and myself.

By the way, I have soccer practice today and my team's name is SONIC BOOMERS. I'm playing for the women's league here on island and I must say, it's pretty cool to belong to a team. I can't believe I'm a soccer player. Never imagined myself to be an athlete, but I guess now it's official. There's no turning back... LOL.

I was also thinking about motherhood for some reason. It was my favorite actress' b-day last Friday, Keri Russell, and she just recently got married on Valentine's Day and she'll be having a baby this summer. I don't know, it kind of makes me just want to settle down too.
I think I'm ready though. Yeah.... I'm ready to have a husband and settle down and have babies. :o) Golly, I'm growing up! LOL Seriously though, I wish I could meet my future husband already. I've been praying religiously for the past couple of months... I want to fall in love again. I'm ready now. :o) I previously said that I'm only going to marry my bestfriend but I guess I could make an exemption.

Anyway, y'all have a beautiful day!
Lovealways, Joan

Sunday, March 25, 2007


The service at church today was awesome! My pastor asked the youth to make a commitment to Jesus and the youth responded. Ten years ago, I wanted to become a pastor but my parents were worried that my future wouldn't be stable. It doesn't matter to me though because I know that wherever the Lord puts me, He will take care of my needs.

Last year, I let go of a lot of things that were bogging me down. I've cried every tear imaginable and I've felt every emotion known to man. But I can't live my life stuck in the past. I need to move forward and see what my next step would be.

Everyone that knows me thinks that my life is pretty good. That I have it made. Yes, I did live a privileged life and I have no complains. But people don't see the real me. The struggles I go through, internally and just being reconciled to myself.

I know that my God is real and I know that my God is awesome. I will serve Him all the days of my life and regardless of my circumstance, I will glorify His name.

I have made mistakes the last month and I may have annoyed certain people that were very nice to me. I have apologized and I have felt guilty. I have done my part and right now, maybe God is teaching me to be more patient towards people.

Not everyone would understand God's calling. But when God calls you to serve, every nerve in your body will be aching to go.

I wish I knew God's plan for my life. Sometimes when I can't see the silver lining, I whine as a daughter would to a father. But my trust is in the Lord and everything that I am belongs to Him and Him alone.


Thursday, March 15, 2007


Hi guys!

What a beautiful day to be alive.

I hope everyone is well-- somewhere out there.

Take care,

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Shout out

To my role model: KERI RUSSELL
She finally did it!!!!

A beautiful child is on its way.

Way to go KERI.
You deserve EVERY GOOD thing.


KERI: irish; named after GRANDFATHER KERMIT.


U R MY prize.
U R MY joy.
U R MY world.


"Be strong and courageous. I will never leave you nor forsake."

Party favors

1. 2007 Lincoln Navigators
Colors: All the colors of the rainbow

2. 2007 Lexus
Colors: Barney, Superman, Batman, Elvis, Frank, Tom

3. 2007 Camry
Colors: All the colors of the rainbown

4. 2007 Trucks
Colors: Justice League colors

5. 2007 BONUS
Everyone who has been XTRA good this year, gets the DESIRE of their HEART.

I give you my WORD.
Ask and you SHALL receive.

WARNING: Do not let anyone in. Dracula is still outside hunting those that are wanting to be hunted. But don't worry, BATMAN is out of the cave. HE IS WATCHING U.



--Belle's Aunt--

Rules of Engagement

1. You must adhere to the CLUB rules.
2. You must L-O-V-E everyone.
3. You must "clean-up" "clean-up" everybody "clean-up"
4. You must drink milk and exercise.
5. You must READ the GOOD BOOK and GET DOWN on IT.

If you concur, say AFFIRMATIVE.

This message will self-destruct in 7 minutes.

--Ethan Hunt's MOTHER--
Mission Impossible 4: Coming soon to a theater near U
Austin Powers 4: Coming soon to a theater near U
Charlie's Angels 3: Coming soon to a theater near U

Guess what?

Your butt stinks that's what! LOL

Update: Elvis has left the building.
Justice League Youth Edition (Saipan) get ready for a wonderful suprise on March 7, 2007. You will all LOVE it.

1. Clean the bathroom.
2. Pick up trash on the beach. Spread out.
3. Write out wish list.
4. Always be polite. Say thank you and please.
5. No shouting! Whoever says bad words gets punished.

You're all STILL invited to Joshua's Magical Party on March 7, 2007.

"That's why we're WAITING.. WAITING on the WORLD to CHANGE.
is gonna rule the population.



Au revoir

"Now it's time to say goodbye
To all our company
M - I - C

K - E - Y

M - O - U - S - E"



Monday, February 19, 2007

Confessions. Part 2. RU's perspective

Every thing that ive been doin is all bad
I got a chick on the side wit a crib and a ride
Ive telling you so many lies aint none good its all bad
And I just wanna confess cause its been goin on so long
Girl I been doin you so wrong and I want you to know that
Every thing that ive been doin is all bad
I got a chick on the side wit a crib and a ride
Ive telling you so many lies aint none good its all bad
And I just wanna confess cause its been goin on so long
Girl I been doin you so wrong and I want you to know that

[Verse 1]
Everytime I was in L.A. I was with my ex-girlfriend
Everytime you called I told you,
"Baby I'm workin." (No!)
I was out doin my dirt (Oh!)
Wasn't thinkin' 'bout you gettin' hurt
(I) was hand in hand in the Beverly Center like man
Not givin' a damn who sees me
So gone (I know)
So wrong (Just listen)
actin'like I got it and left you sittin' at home
Thinkin' about me
Bein' a good girl that you are
But you prolly believe you got a good man
I man that never would do the things I'm about to tell you I've done
Brace yourself
It ain't good
But it would be even worse if you heard this from somebody else


[Verse 2]
if I could turn back the hands of time and start all over I would
instead of everything bein all bad baby everything will be all good
I don’t wanna lose you but I know what im telling you aint gon’ make you wanna stay, probally just make you run away or
mad enough to punch me in my face
Ive been livin like an idiot and I deserve every bit of it
I know, today is the day that I end all the lyin and the playin and the bullshit
Girl, im sorry baby im sorry
But I can no longer walk around with this stress on my chest
I confess...


Can you break it down....

[Harmonica playing]

[Chorus fades out]

No me ames

Dime por qué lloras
De felicidad
Y por qué te ahogas
Por la soledad
Di por qué me tomas, fuerte así,
mis manos, y tus pensamientos te van llevando

Yo te quiero tanto
Y por qué será
Loco testarudo, no lo dudes más,
aunque en el futuro haya un muro enorme,
yo no tengo miedo, quiero enamorarme.

No me ames, porque pienses que
parezco diferente
Tú no piensas que es lo justo,
ver pasar el tiempo juntos
No me ames, que comprendo,
la mentira que sería.
Si tu amor no merezco, no me ames,
mas quédate otro día

No me ames, porque estoy perdido,
porque cambié el mundo, porque es el
destino, porque no se puede, somos un espejo,
Y tú así serías lo que yo
de mí reflejo
No me ames, para estar muriendo,
dentro de una guerra llena de
arrepentimientos, no me ames para estar
en tierra, quiero alzar el
vuelo, con
tu gran amor por el azul del cielo


No sé qué decirte, esa es la verdad,
si la gente quiere, sabe lastimar
Tú y yo partiremos, ellos no se mueven,
pero en este cielo sola no me dejes

No me dejes, no me dejes, no me escuches,
si te digo "no me ames".
No me dejes, no desarmes,
mi corazón con ese "no me ames"
No me ames, te lo ruego, mi amargura, dèjame
Sabes bien, que no puedo, que es inútil,
que siempre te amaré

No me ames, pues te haré sufrir con este
corazòn que se llenó de mil inviernos
No me ames, para así olvidarte de tus días grises, quiero que me ames
sólo por amarme
No me ames, tú y yo volaremos,
uno con el otro y seguiremos siempre juntos
Este amor es como el sol que sale tras de la tormenta
Como dos cometas en la misma estela

Romeo and Juliet

Samson and Delilah

When they kiss... oooooooohhhhhhhhhh.... FIRE.

--I remember having a crush on my highschool 9th grade English teacher Mr. A. S. He's got the most beautiful blue/green eyes. And the teeth: wow. I was 15 and I wanted to marry someone like him. I could stare at those eyes for hours and I did. He became my teacher again on the 12th grade. I had to write an epic poem and I hated it. But I did it because he's so inspiring. I think those eyes has hypnotic powers.--

Where's Adam?

He's gone to Bali. Hmm.. Rock climbing.

Lovely Ms. Drew

"You're instilling the idea of love at first sight for women - and for men - all over the world. How nice is that? And then you can go off and be a cynical curmudgeon (adorable alliteration) in real life. You get the best of both worlds."

Nuff said.

--A of S--

Justice League Saipan (Youth Edition)

Leader of the pack: YESHUA
Name: J.A.T.A. aka J. to the A. aka Joshua A. aka Wilbur (Charlotte's Web)
Location: Saipan, NMI
Number: (all numbers)
Color: Yellow, but he wants red/blue/green (all colors)
Languages: English, Filipino, Spanish, French, Japanese, Korean
Age: almost 7. He's counting the days. He'll be 7 on 3.7.07.
Built: Chunky (Peanut Butter - he's allergic though)
Activities: Painting, Tambourine, Soccer, anything his nana deer does
Idol: Superman. Spiderman. Batman. Chris Angel. Harry Potter. Buzz Lightyear.
Sport: Soccer. Running. Eating. (It's a sport. Ask him! He can race with you!)
Loves: Jesus. Arroyo family. Nana deer. His family. His bestfriends: Jordan, Sean, his soccer possee: SHARKS. His sister - who he teases and laughs at 'all' the time... like right now. They're playing soccer and Leila girl is crying because her Kuya is not giving her the ball. LOL.
Ambition: To be a vegetarian. I mean a vet. He also wants to be a famous soccer player when he grows up.
Love: Ms. P.W. (she will remain nameless for she is shy, like all 7 year olds are)
Dream of his heart: To fly
Hero name: Zeus. God of the Son.

Yeshua loves me unconditionally. His bday is coming soon, March 7. He's turning 7 and he wants a Justice League party. He wants to meet all these people IN REAL LIFE. I said, "How am I gonna do that Joshua?" He thinks I know Superman. LOL. So, anyone out there who knows how to get a hold of the Justice League Unlimited. PLEASE. PLEASE. Let me know. I want to make my boy's dreams come true.

Co-Captain: Ethan James
Name: Ethan aka EJ aka E aka J
Location: San Jose, CA
Number: 8
Color: Brown/neutral colors
Languages: English, Filipino, Spanish, French, Japanese, Korean
Age: almost 7. He'll be 7 on 6.20.07.
Built: Athletic. But lactose intolerant.
Activities: Singing, dancing, running, chasing chickens, bicycling,
Idol: Winnie the Pooh. Dinosaurs. Buzz Lightyear.
Sport: Running. He's a lover not a fighter.
Loves: His daddy. His mommy. His Tita Anne. Amma. Ampa. Cousin Joshua and Leila. Immediate family from Saipan, California, Philippines
Ambition: To be a dinosaur. I mean study dinosaurs.
Love: Secret. The truth will be revealed when time would cease to exist. (WOW)
Dream of his heart: To be a T-Rex
Hero name: Ethan. He's a prophet.

Warrior Princess: Catheryn Leila
Name: Leila aka Chubs aka Wawa aka Kayla aka Ella
Location: Saipan, NMI
Number: undecided
Color: pink/green/lavender
Languages: English, Filipino, Spanish, French, Japanese, Korean
Age: almost 5. She'll be 5 on 7.18.07.
Built: Slender. Athletic. Tall.
Activities: Singing, dancing, running, roller blading, bicycling, picking flowers and sticky birds, crying, whining (she doesn't whine anymore. she's not arte like her mom. joke. laugh.)
Idol: Ariel. Brats. Cinderella. All the Disney Princesses.
Sport: Anything she wants. She's built for any sport.
Loves: Arroyo family. Nina Jhing. Amma. Ampa. Nana bear. Immediate family from Saipan, California, Philippines. She loves her church. Jesus. GCA.
Ambition: To be a doctor/teacher/make-up artist/model/dancer
Love: not yet. she only loves her daddy and her friends: Ate Erin, Kuya Sean, her classmates: she can name them all. her teacher.
Dream of her heart: To be a mermaid.
Hero name: Ella. short for Gabriella.

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"

I read this quote from an article on The London Free Press from the movie, "Music and Lyrics" (Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant) two of the funniest people alive. I've seen all of their movies including the ones that bombed. LOL. My fave of Drew's are "50 1st Dates", "Wedding Singer", "Never Been Kissed", "Everyone is saying I love you" "Ever After" (#1) and now, "Music and Lyrics".

I adore Hugh Grant on "Notting Hill", "Love Actually", "About a boy". Drew and Hugh are both smart and naturally funny. They should end up together. Woohoo! Mrs. Drew Grant. LOL.


A kiss from a rose

Feb. 21, 2007

Is the night.
The beast and its maker meets.

The beast is awake.
Let's kill the beast.

With a kiss from a rose.
The spell will be broken.
The beast turns into a handsome prince.

Belle turns into a princess
A beautiful princess
A warrior. A fighter. A dancer. A lover.

The girl and the boy live happily ever after.
Into the sunset.
With the stars out in the sky.

Holding hands.
Because He lives.

Mont blanc/verde moulin

By: Bambina

Christian and Nicolette
Sitting on a tree
K - I - S - S - I - N - G
First comes Love
Then comes Mercy
Then comes Hope

Marry me.
Die for me.
Live for me.

Like a candle in the night.
Light of the World.
Like a candle in my life.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

My friends

I was just thinking about my how lucky I am that I have such great friends. I thank the Lord for surrounding me with people that care about me and want to protect me.

My oldest friend is Lorna Morta. I've known her since we were in elementary. She's married and currently lives in the Philippines.

The first friend I've made in Saipan is Mary Jane Bacani. I met her at WSR back in 1990. We used to belong in a group called "Sweet Settlers" and it sounds cheesy and all, but I loved being in that group. We had code names and rules and we even had a contract. SS #1 is Mary Jane, then I'm #2, Sarah Zano is #3 and Hazel Tudela is #4.

My best guy friend is a dude named Jerome. I've known him since I was 12 and he's such an amazing guy. He says he's not, but I know he is... deep down. I adore this dude and I believe in his capabilities. One day, he'll rule Saipan... just wait and see... LOL

Jennifer Javier Flores is my best girl friend. I remember telling her I didn't like labels because I used to have best-friends in elementary/jr. high and they never last. But I think our friendship has been tried and tested and I could definitely say she's my best-friend. She probably knows me inside and out. She's my counselor, my teacher, my confidante and just someone who I could totally be myself with. She's awesome! I miss you Jen.

Annette Pamintuan, "Red" is pretty special to me. We actually went to Jr. High together but only gotten close during our 11th year at MHS. Netty is awesome! We have so much in common and I adore her. She's intelligent, interesting, kind and loving. She lives in Guam right now and I really want to visit her... Just wait for me Netty.

Vanessa Reynante is the first friend I've made at UP. This girl is such an amazing woman of God. She has a great voice, intelligent, caring, loyal and hard-working. She loves her family and she only wants to do good things. She's in law school right now and I look forward to being with her soon...

This year, I've been blessed to have made two new friends: Patty Coleman and Rose White. Patty Coleman is awesome! She's energetic, intelligent, loving, kind and so charismatic. When I met her, we just clicked right away and we have so much fun talking... She's the one who got me into soccer so I'll forever be grateful for her.

Rose White is an amazing woman of God. She's a rolemodel to me. She's my mentor and I adore the ground she walks on... hehehe I wish I could be like her: strong-willed yet sensitive, passionate, loving and loyal. She has an amazing family and I'm glad the Lord has crossed our paths.

My friends mean the world to me. Like my family, they occupy a huge space in my life. I thank the Lord for friends... good friends...

Here are some of my other friends: Christopher, Arisa, Dennis, Terry, Tinay, Minna, Janneth Ecal, Cherry Anne, Ivery, Onat, Keith, Shan-chai, Deomar, Emily, Amy, Nick, Spiderman, Batman, Clark Kent, Ella, J. Lu., Kuya Ray, Ate Jhing, Kuya Ferdz, Kuya Benj, Pstr. Keith, Pstr. Joe, Ate Leila... more to come.... list could go on and on.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Fly like a bird

Fly like a bird
By: Mariah Carey

Somehow I know that
There's a place up above
With no more hurt and struggling
Free of all atrocities and suffering
Because I feel the unconditional love
From one who cares enough for me
To erase all my burdens
And let me be free to

Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need you now Lord
Carry me high
Don't let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of you by my side
Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray you'll come and carry me home

Can we recover
Will the world ever be
A place of peace and harmony
With no war and with no brutality
If we loved each other
We would find victory
But in this harsh reality
Sometimes I'm so despondant
That I feel the need to

Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need You now Lord
Carry me high
Don't let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of You by my side
Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray You'll come and carry me home

Keep your head to the sky
With God's love you'll survive

Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need you now Lord
Carry me high
Don't let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of You by my side

Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray You'll come and carry me home
Carry me higher, higher, higher
Carry me higher, higher, higher
Carry me home
Higher Jesus
Carry me higher Lord

The art of letting go

This morning, I decided to let go....

Let go of anyone in my life that caused me pain
Let go of anything in my life that caused me heartache
Let go of insults, of broken promises, of disappointment

Every day is a new beginning...
Every day offers a brand new hope
Don't waste time by dwelling on the past
Move on...

Breathe in that fresh new start.


A confession of a broken heart

For almost all of my life, I never truly believed in the power of love. I never saw it in my life. Growing up, I didn't have a model of what true love is. I hated Valentine's Day ever since 1991. I've never had a good Valentine's Day and I've never spent it with any particular boy.

But this year, it's gonna be different. For a change, I would 'embrace' Valentine's Day... not as a day for couples but simply a day to celebrate love. I was conceived probably on Valentine's Day... they weren't even supposed to have me because my parents had separated and had just gotten back together... then boom, 9 months later, out came ms. thang over here!

This morning before I went to my prayer meeting at church, I had a revelation. I won't reveal that revelation yet, because it's not the proper time but I know the Lord will do something awesome in my life, and in your life, for that matter.... starting this year.

"This is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice and be glad in it"

Anne of Saipan

Bon jour!

What an awesome day... The sun is shining, the birds are singing... hehehe What a beautiful day to be alive... and answer these questions.

Read and then take this survey!

1. How old will you be in five years?

2. Do you think you will be married by then?
I don't know. Maybe

3. How tall are you?

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six months?

6. Who was the last person you called?
My uncle

7. Who was the last person to call you?
I don't have a celfone

8. What was the last text message you received?
see no. 7

9. Do you prefer to call or text?
I prefer to talk face to face

10. Do you have any pets?

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?

13. When is the last time you saw your mom?
sunday morning

14. What color are your eyes?

33. What do you like about winter?

35. What do u like most about Spring?

36. How many states have you lived in?

37. How many cities/towns have you lived in?
a few

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
depends on what i'll be doing, but most of the time, i'd go bare feet

39. Are you a social person?

40. What was the last thing you ate?
mini m and ms

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
subway if you consider that a restaurant.... um, anything that sells good quality food

42. What is your favorite ice cream?
cookies and cream, mint

43. What is your favorite dessert?

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
anything that's white

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?

47. Do you like coffee?

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
a lot

49. What do you drink in the morning?
chocolate milk

50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
when i get married, with someone else.. LOL...

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?

52. Do you know how to play poker?

54. Have you ever been to Canada?

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?

59. Do you want kids?

60. Do you speak any other languages?

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
ocean but i also like pooks..

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?

65. Do you know how to drive a stick?

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?

67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?

68. What is your favorite TV show?

69. Can you roll your tongue?

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
Joshua and Batman

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
i do

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
see no. 7

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?

74. What color are your bedroom walls?

75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth?
i do

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors opened or closed?

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of killer cotton balls?

78. Do you flirt a lot?
define flirt, but no. i'm just friendly.

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
bbq, sweet n-sour

80. What is your favorite food?
french fries

81. Can you change the oil on a car?

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?

83. Have you ever run out of gas?

84. What is your usual bedtime?
when i'm sleepy

86. Do you read the newspaper?

87. Do you have magazine subscriptions?
when i was in highschool

88. Best comedian?
will smith, adam sandler, sinbad

89.Do you watch soap operas?

90. Do you dance in the car?

To you know who

Feb. 12, 2007

Looking into your eyes
There are depths there
that I can't fathom
But I don't have to

You are a mystery
That will be unlocked
in God's precious time

When your wings are
Fully grown
You will soar beautifully
into the sky
Bringing blessings wherever you go

Your destiny will wait
Until you are ready
When all is said and done

"God makes things beautiful in His time"

The beast will be no more
And the only thing that remains
Is a kind, caring, beloved child of God

--Butterfly Angel--

Friday, February 9, 2007

A day at the beach

I was supposed to play soccer today but I swam at the beach instead.. LOL.. As soon as I see the beach, I HAVE to swim. I'm compelled to get in there somehow... the beach speaks a sweet song that I alone can hear.. calling me, drawing me to it... (enough poetry)

Last night I had a great time at a Youth meeting. The kids were on fire for God and that just makes me smile. When I meet young people caring about their peers and respecting themselves, I love it! The youth are the leaders of tomorrow and as a young adult, I want to encourage that behavior.


Thursday, February 8, 2007

What a beautiful day!

Awesome day today... woke up on the right side of the bed. LOL.

"It's gonna be alright, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see..."

Tomorrow, I have soccer so I'm happy. I'll try to attend the clean-ups with Beautify CNMI over the weekend. I attended one last week at Aquarius... beautiful beach down there.

"Everybody get up it's time to slam now
We got a real jam goin' down
Welcome to the Space Jam
Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam

I just feel like singing/dancing today....

Walo pito pito anim ... 090207

Je t'aime,
Anne of the Beach

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

The Wall

Dave was a 19 year old man. All through his life,
he was living with this wall around him.
His family cared about him a lot, but they
never really understood his behavior.
He feels as if he is mentally ill, but nobody
cared to listen. SO, he isolated himself from everyone
that cared about him. He lived life in solitude,
and his only friend was dude named Natas. Natas
said, if people got in ur way, get rid of them.

One day, Dave's dad got in his way, so he stabbed
him in his chest 5 times, luckily, the dad did
not die. But, Dave was sent to jail and was
found guilty of attempted murder and he would
spend 10 years of his life in prison.

Now Dave was really has a wall built between
him and his family. A wall that would stay
erect and will last for about a decade. As
years passed by, Dave remained silent. He
made a vow of silence until he is free again.

Then one day, he got a new cell mate named JC.
JC was very open and very friendly. He tried
to talk to Dave everyday but Dave just ignores
him. Each morning, JC would sing this one song ...

"All we like sheep have gone astray
If of us turning our own separate ways
we have all sinned and fallen short of YOUR glory
But your glory is what we desire to see
and in ur presence is where we long to be

Oh LORD, show us your mercy and grace
take us to your holy place
forgive our sins and heal our lands
we long to live in ur presence once again."

For three years, Dave and JC never had a
decent conversation, until one day, JC had
to go. As JC was about to leave, Dave came
up to him and said,

"Thank you for the song."
JC said, "You're welcome.", and smiled.

For the first time in Dave's life,
he felt someone understood him ,
and a tear fell from his eyes.

The next morning, the cell guard heard
someone singing JC's song..
"That's strange." He looked into
Dave's cell, and saw Dave on his knees,
with his eyes closed, and singing the song..

"All we like sheep.... "


A woman of faith, Ms. Clara

All of us at one point think that we have all the time in the world. What people don't realize is that we're all living on borrowed time.

Two days ago, my friend's mom passed away. She turned 94 last Saturday then Tuesday morning, she passed on. She was a strong woman of faith and her time was simply up. I've had the priviledge of meeting her and praying for her last month when was hospitalized. When I saw her, she looked so frail but her spirit was strong.

I know that when God takes us away, there's always a reason... He knows the perfect timing. I know that Ms. Clara is beautiful up there in heaven... dancing, singing to Her Master.

I wish my life could be like that. To live life to the fullest until my very last breath.

I will never forget Ms. Clara for the two or three weeks that I watched her... slowly, painfully, yet being inspired by her heart.. her spirit who never stopped worshipping even if her physical health deteriorated.

"We have only one life to live, let's live it to the fullest." --JLT

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

A thousand....

A thousand thoughts
Fill my mind every minute
Of people, places and things
I try to capture
Every glimpse I have of you
But soon you disappear
Can't keep you in my pocket
Even if I want to

A million miles
Separate you from me
A million faces
Crowd our world every day
When will you realize
That I'm the one for you
Pain in my heart I feel
Each time you try to hide

I wanna keep you in my life
But it's out of my hands
I wanna stay beside you
But it's out of my hands

Monday, February 5, 2007

C'est la vie

Life can sometime suck... because of the people surrounding you and the situations you are in.

Sometimes I wish I could just 'break free' -- escape somehow. Maybe that's why I like the beach. When I'm on the beach, it's just me and You.

I went camping last night and swam from 9 pm til 1 am. Then when I woke up this morning, I saw again... from 6 til 8 am. I love the water. I love the serenity it brings to my soul.

"When I awake, I'm still with you..." (Psalm 139)

Je t'aime mon King,

Sunday, February 4, 2007

A woman's heart

Years of conformity
Being whatever anyone
Wants me to be
Fulfilling a role, a duty
Discounting our individuality
For the purpose of harmony

A mother
A daughter
A friend
A nun
A prostitute
A battered wife
Countless of roles that never end

Where is my heart in all of this?
When will you ever listen to what I have to say?
When will these roles cease?
When will you listen to my heart?
When will you listen to my pleas?


Dreadfully I walk inside your chamber
As I find my place far away
From your sight
You enter and the wind stops to breeze
As my day turns into night

Words from your lips, frighten my very soul
Your eyes that scrutinize
Like a microscope
Hiding my thoughts; silenced with your gaze
Losing confidence;
Losing hope

But then I know, inside this beast
Inside this ogre
Lives a person just like me
Who has frailties, who has insecurities
Beneath a facade
So no one can see

I pity the fool who caused you pain
For making you live
Life in misery
But don't blame me, for the strife life gave
Don't look at me
Ever condescendingly

Just a

Just a robot to be told what to do
Just a machine to be used at your discretion
Just a tool to accomplish a task
Just a messenger to pass information to someone else

Is that how you think of me?
Is that how you'll only see me?

Never mind that I have a brain
A brain to think and decide with
Never mind that I have a heart
A heart that feels and get hurt
Never mind that I have a soul
A soul that needs to fly and be free

Can't you see there's more to me?
Can't you see the potential inside of me?

Just a shrug and all will be well
Just a glance and I ought to follow you
Just a frown and you make me run away
Just a disheartened look and you'll never see the real me

Innocent eyes

I see those innocent eyes
Feeling the pain in your disguise
Not knowing the kind of life
In store for you
I walk away
Still thinking of you

I can't blame the heavens
For welcoming you into the world
You aren't in control of your destiny
You did not choose
To live your life in misery

I see those innocent eyes
And I walk on by
Wondering if I'll ever see you again
I walked on, looked up to the sky


I've dreamt of you
A million times before
Dreamt of how our life would be
Anticipating that special day
You'll reveal yourself to me

Mi reflejo

A picture perfect image
Of elegance, wit and charm
Trying to capture a reflection of you
To guide my life away from harm
Love that will never end
Bond only you and I know
Grateful for the pattern you provide
Never letting go


A butterfly gently rests
On a single white rose
Craving youthfulness,
Beauty and life
It flies across the garden
Searching for its true love
Only to find a lonesome weed
On the ground


Floating in oblivion
I search for you

Imprisoned by your love
I reach for you

Dreaming in hopeless reverie
I long for you

Awakened by reality
I cry for you

A glimpse

A smile begins to form

With just a glimpse of you

The crowd is silenced

Upon your gaze

And the only thing I hear

Is the beating

Of my happy heart


I take a step on the edge of nowhere
Ready to fall on the dark abyss
The silence deafens me
As I grope underneath
To take hold of something steady
Dismayed; fear rushed in

I take a step inside the magnificent beauty
To a place of life and love
Music filled my heart with gladness
As I danced along with the melody
To embrace life eternal
Satisfied; peace enveloped me


Trapped in a labyrinth
Of hazy paths
Confused with the past, present
And future times
Scared, angry, helpless
Imprisoned in a temple
Until nature takes it course
And liberates the soul

Someone to watch over me..

I lay down to sleep
Only to wake with a sudden jolt
To realize there might be no one
To comfort me at night
I lie awake and look up at my ceiling
Thinking if there's still someone
Out there, just for me
And if he's thinking of me too

Love songs have jaded my ears
Disillusioned me with love unlike any other
Of fate arranging everything perfectly
For two hearts to beat as one
When all I see are the tears in my pillow
Of the loneliness I feel inside
The pain of my broken heart
And a spirit distraught in my slumber

Is there someone out there meant for me?
Wondering if he's asking the same question
Hoping someday we'll meet

A conversation with self

I looked at myself in the mirror
Who was it I saw?
The chubby girl with fat hanging loosely
Or those eyes that playfully glisten
Do my appearance reflect who I really am
Isn't my soul the real me?
Or this flesh that other see?

All through my life, I've been teased of being heavy
That if I just lost the weight I'll be so very pretty
I struggled to be pleasing
Exercising, dieting, binging, fasting
When I did lose weight, people noticed me more
But they have no idea of the pain
I had to endure

Do I want to conform?
So people will like me better
But if they only liked me
For the way I looked
They can't really know who I am
Because the true person lies within
This persona underneath my skin

Peripheral Vision

Eyes that see
Ears that hear
Lips that are silenced
Hands that hang loosely on my side

Years of struggle
Battles with my reflection
Ceaseless arguments
Rebellious antics
One sided vision
Of my life

Eyes that perceive
Ears that listen
Lips that speak
Hands that reach out to the sky

Day to day struggle
Accepting who I am
Finally achieving
What I've longed for
Peripheral vision
Of my life

A new day...

A new day began when you came into my life
Your smile has brought sunshine in my days
Your heart, capturing my heart bit by bit
Trying to soften it with your gentle ways

A new day began when you spoke to me
Your songs sang sweetly, music unto my ears
Your soul, capturing my soul, little by little
Hypnotizing me with those gentle eyes

A new day began when you became my friend
Your uplifting words bringing cheer to my life
Your hand, gently holding my hand
Falling for you, day by day

You don't have to...

You don't have to hold my hand
To feel my trembling heart
You don't have to look into my eyes
And see the passion inside
You don't have to call me everyday
To make sure I'm all right
You don't have to kiss me
During the day or at night

You don't have to say the words
Lovers long to hear
You don't have to shower me
With extravagant gifts
You don't have to fetch the moon
And the stars or dive the deepest sea
Just to prove the love you have for me

You don't even have to know
Of these feelings I have inside
You don't have to reciprocate
The attention I give to you
Just be your sweet, intriguing self
That captivates my day
As I patiently wait
For you to glance my way

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Someone's always saying goodbye

This is a title of a song which my favorite Filipina singer sang a rendition of. (Try saying that 5 times. LOL)

The song is pretty self-explanatory. Someone is indeed always saying goodbye. May it be a lover or a loved one.

I'm torn between two emotions: letting go of someone I used to love and still loving that person I used to love. I'm in that stage and it completely sucks!

*Help!* (Writing about it helps though. Atleast I know I'm not alone.)

Gadfly: An unfinished project

One of the most interesting people I've ever met in my life is a man I would simply call "Gadfly". Sir Gadfly is a man of the world. He is quite enigmatic, yet can charm anyone who enters into his realm of existence. He is down-to-earth, kind, yet elegant and straighforward. He always stirs people's mind and cause them to think (atleast the few that will actually stop and contemplate on what he just said.)

He makes me want to be a better student. A better informed individual. He is about 50 years older than I am, I think... this is just a guess. So I have about 50 years of knowledge to fill into my tiny brain. Each word I utter seem unintelligent and I don't get intimidated by a lot of people, but Sir Gadfly intimidates the heck out of me. He is a mystery I want to solve. A grandfather I want to adopt. Yet at the same time, he keeps his distance and remains mysterious and hidden to the world somehow.

From my talks with him and the questions I subtly ask, here is some information I gathered: he is a journalist, an author, a teacher, a father, a grandfather, an orator but most of all a visionary. True great leaders are men of vision. And this man is certainly a man of vision.

Socrates, the original gadfly, simply wanedt to ask questions and let other people come up with the answer. He flies from one place to another, sometimes seen as a pest, a nuisance, a troublemaker. Many people would come and go into the world, but only a few makes an impact and changes history. Sir Gadfly is one of them.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The first Noel

I was just reminded this morning by this particular character in the tv series, Felicity. Noel was Felicity's best-friend and he was always there for... waiting... pining... patiently for Ms. Felicity to take her eyes away from Ben to finally notice him.

There's a lot of Noels in the world.... Guys who are the best of friends but secretly wishing they become her boyfriend.

To all the Noels in the world: Just be patient. If your love is pure and real towards your best-friend, chances are she may feel the same for you as well. It just takes a little bit more time for girls to fall because they just don't want to get hurt.

Au revior,

Je suis fatigue

What a day!

I can't believe it's almost February.. just one more day. Where did the month go??? LOL


Monday, January 29, 2007

What does it mean to be an educator?

To educate means to impart knowledge. And how does one do that? By inquiring that knowledge in the first place.

To be the best educator, one must possess the best education. This only makes sense. You know how much if will cost you? $.20 of overdue fine at a Public Library.

People always assume that only the privilege have access for the best education there is. That is a fallacy. A great example of this is Abraham Lincoln. The 16th president of the United States of America became a lawyer and eventually, the president through self-education. His life is a proof that you can learn anything you want and excel in it by having three things: (1) desire to learn, (2) dictionary and (3) a thesaurus.

I leave you now with this quote: "On this battlefield man has no better weapon than his intelligence, no other force than his heart"--- Dr. Jose Rizal, Philippine National Hero

--Anne of Saipan--

21 relationship questions

21 relationship questions
Body: You opened it, now do it. Honestly!

1) Are you single, taken or crushing?

2) Are you happy with where you are?

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
Absolutely not. It has no logical basis. Why enter into a relationship if you aren't 100% committed to that person?

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?

7) Have you ever talked about marriage with another person?

8) Do you want kids?
I want 4. :o)

9) How many?
2 boys and 2 girls. 2 sets of twins.

10) Would you consider adoption?

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to tell you?
Just be my friend. I think that's the best way.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Enjoy it? LOL

13) Do you want someone you can't have?

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Yes. But it's more love at first like. When you love someone, that's deeper and that requires time.

15) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
No. Would you want someone to make you change without your consent? Just love the person for who they are, faults and all.

17) Do you have feelings for someone right now?

20) Would you ever consider getting married in high school?

21)Do you love some one right now?

Thursday, January 25, 2007


You know what? I have always been afraid to use vulgar words even as a kid. When I was 10, I first use the f word (without knowing it's definition ofcourse) and someone told me, "Do you know what you just said?" and I replied, "No." The person said, "Then don't say it."

When I was a kid, there were a lot of things I wasn't supposed to do or say and I was like, "Why?" and I would think, "What's the difference if I curse in my head? Will that still be considered a 'bad' word?"

Why do people curse anyway? For emphasis! I think that's why rappers use bad words. Not necessarily to be cool but sometimes, there really is no other way to express anger but to use vulgar words. But then again, what would you gain if you do say them? You're only offending people. And yes, who cares if you offend people right? But what if someone offends you? You wouldn't like that feeling huh?

People have a tendency to forget that words have power. Because we have been bombarded with profanity every second of our life, it becomes second nature to us. And men are creatures of habit. Once they get used to something, they become lazy to change!

The English language is composed of about 5,000 or more words (probably more), why not utilize it? If you are angry and are tempted to say you-know-what, why don't you say, "I'm furious at you! I'm livid!" And watch how that person reacts! LOL They'll probably be even angrier because they have no idea what you just said. Ignorance isn't bliss; it's ignorance.

In the end, it all boils down to this: treat others the way you want to be treated. The Golden Rule. An old adage but still very useful.

The what if girl?

I always an inquisitive child. I always asked "What if?" or "Why?" I was never satisfied with just a plain answer. I need a thorough and complete answer... and I truly hated not knowing. Call me stubborn, okay... LOL but I really am. Sometimes when I write on my prayer journal, I would always tell the Lord, "I wish I knew your plans beforehand, but then again, I'd rather trust in You."

Imagine if God shows you your life.. everything about your life... from start to finish. You'd probably be overwhelmed. Even if the element of surprise is eliminated, the element of excitement may be eliminated as well.. and who'd want to live a boring life? I don't think anyone wants to be bored. That's why people try so many different things, to escape boredom... (like me right now, at work.. just kidding!)

I have this friend who I met up with last Tuesday and I was just telling him, "Thank God for myspace". Myspace has been so popular over the last couple of years and it will be the 'cool' thing for the next years or so, unless something cooler comes along. First it was friendster, then myspace, then now, may be blogger. In email, first it was hotmail, then yahoo, then now gmail. People get bored of the same thing over and over again. It's time to try something new. Get out of your comfort zone. Open your mind and dive into this world called 'the information superhighway' (it isn't called this anymore ofcourse... this term is outdated!)

"It's the start of something new... it feels so right to be here with you
And now looking in your eyes, I feel in my heart
The start of something new..."
(High School Musical, 2006)

To blog or not to blog?

If you wanna learn how to create a blog, maintain a blog, or just blog, blog, blog. Come nei! LOL

Wednesday night at 7 PM at Java Joes

His eyes...

I'm at work right now, and I can't help but remember this guy.... He had the most beautiful eyes. When I looked into his eyes, he was piercing my soul. It's as if, he could look straight to my heart and my thoughts were exposed. It's unfortunate that we are thousands of miles apart. I still think about him, dream about him, sometimes wish I was with him. But I know, I can't.

I was reading this book, "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck and he defined love in this manner: the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth. It seems too deep eh? but it's true though.

There are many levels of love: agape (pure love; love for God); eros (romantic love; lust); philia (platonic love) and I think when you truly love someone, it just means wanting to see that person grow to his/her potential. If your being in his/her life diminishes or distracts that person from his/her spiritual growth, however difficult it may be, then you have no choice but to leave.

You know that saying, "If you love someone, let them go...." (I hate this saying! LOL) If you truly love someone, why do you have to leave? I mean, why can't you just stay friends and inspire one another as you go through this journey called life? Why complicate things when you yourself aren't ready to complicate them?

Love could be synonymous with fear. Love is such a strong emotion that when it hits you, the first thing that comes to you naturally is to run away. Why? Because we aren't ready to give 100% of ourselves to that person or we just don't want to commit.

Regardless of the distance, you can still remain emotionally attach to someone and that's even worse... because that person can haunt you... in your deepest slumber... he appears out of nowhere.. invading your thoughts, your fantasies, your dreams. And you awaken, not knowing how to react.. whether to smile or to get angry because you allowed yourself to be vulnerable.

I liked what Meg Ryan said in the movie, "You've got mail". Her character said: "Why do people say it's not personal, it's business! Because it truly is personal." I had gotten my heart broken and I hate to say it, but I'm still not over the guy. Maybe because there is no form of closure and maybe because I just loved the guy too much.

Love sucks! LOL Just kidding.

I look forward to falling in love again. Maybe this time, just loving the person enough... if there is such a thing.



Hey you guys! This is the first entry on my OFFICIAL blog so I wanted to take you on a special journey.

Yesterday, at my current issues class, we had a guest speaker which talked about the upcoming "Micronesia Challenge". Basically, he talked about encouraging the people of the CNMI to help conserve 30% of the forest and 20% of our coral reefs. He spoke about the problem that the CNMI and the whole Micronesia is facing and the steps they are doing to start eliminating this problem. I personally was convicted about this.

I've been an advocate for the environment ever since I came here in Saipan 17 years ago. I was a member of the 4H Club at William S. Reyes, 6th grade. I even joined a contest where we talked about energy conservation. Then, when I attended Hopwood Jr. High, I became a member of the National Honor Society and one of our focus was helping to beautify the island.

All throughout my Highschool years, I was still involved in NHS and participated in a lot of Island-wide, school clean-ups. My sisters would joke and say that I had become a janitor of some sort because I spent most of my Saturdays picking up trash along Kilili beach, Micro beach or just around MHS. When I graduated MHS, I attended Northern Marianas College for about 2 years. Although I did not belong to a specific club, helping beautify the environment was still something I desired to.

I left Saipan in April 2000 to attend the University of the Philippines, in Diliman. I took BA Philosophy and on my 3rd year of College, I had to take a break. Due to circumstances which were beyond my control and I take full accountability for my actions, my life for the next 3 years remained uncertain. In February 2004, I went back to Saipan and just took a break. Then in June, I went to San Jose, California to visit my sister and nephew. I came back on island in November, then I left March 3, 2005, to go back to the Philippines.

I actually had no intentions of going back to Saipan and living here again. I was going to finish up my BA in Philosophy, take my Masters in Education and teach at my church, Bread of Life. I had already gotten used to living in PI and I honestly wanted to live there for the next 10 years or so.

But, in November 2006, I came back to this beautiful island again and for the next two months everything just fell into its place. The Lord was preparing my life for something greater and for the past 10 years, He has been molding me into the person He intended me to be.

I've always been a big dreamer, hence my blog address. When I was younger, I told my sister something that I never forgot. I told her this: "I feel as if I belong to the world. Like the whole world is my family." I felt that then, and I still feel that now. I turned 27 last November 13 and I just knew that for the next 10 years, the Lord will take me on another journey. I've always felt older than my actual age, but this time, I like it. I can finally say I'm an adult and have certain rights and do certain things without having to answer to anyone, but the Lord and myself.

Having a 20/20 vision (for the few that have it) means having a PERFECT vision. What's perfect vision? It's like having peripheral vision. Basically, it means being able to see all sides: forward, left and right. You are able to see things in its purest and perfect form. You are able to see things with clarity, precision and accuracy. I wasn't blessed with a 20/20 vision and yet I know that if I see through God's eyes, I'll be able to see perfectly.

My desire is for people to see the world through the eyes of Jesus. In our imperfect world, where poverty, war and greed ensue, let's put on the 'eyes of our Lord' so that we may see things in what they truly are. Let's put aside our differences: political, religious, personal beliefs and let's focus on what's common among us.

Men and women who lived before me who changed the world, like Paul, Peter, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks,
Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, they all had one thing in common: they cared. The most difficult thing in the world is probably making someone care. How could you do that without invading their rights and personal space? But these great people have done it before. They taught people to care because they themselves cared for the causes they were fighting for.

All of us were born to be somebody. All of us were given an opportunity to make something of our lives. All we need to do is have faith in our capabilities and stay true to ourselves to the very end. God will do the rest.