Friday, March 30, 2007
I also have bangs! For the first time in my life. I just wanted to do something different with my hair. I was going to get it colored but someone adviced me not so, so I didn't. Anyway, I like my new hairdo. It's something new, so I like it.
This afternoon, I just realized that I've grown so much. Everything. Physically, emotionally. I still feel stuck in the past at times, but I'm kind of redirecting that to the future.
Anyway, y'all have a great day.
I told my friend Ryan this a couple of years ago: whatever you give life, may it be good or bad, that's what you'll get back. So if you reap goodness, you'll sow goodness. If you reap negativity, you'll get negativity. It's pretty simple right?
Having my "down time" is pretty good. I'm taking a break from school for a while and just re-prioritizing things. It's going well. I have more time to think and contemplate on what matters most which is family, friends, and myself.
By the way, I have soccer practice today and my team's name is SONIC BOOMERS. I'm playing for the women's league here on island and I must say, it's pretty cool to belong to a team. I can't believe I'm a soccer player. Never imagined myself to be an athlete, but I guess now it's official. There's no turning back... LOL.
I was also thinking about motherhood for some reason. It was my favorite actress' b-day last Friday, Keri Russell, and she just recently got married on Valentine's Day and she'll be having a baby this summer. I don't know, it kind of makes me just want to settle down too.
I think I'm ready though. Yeah.... I'm ready to have a husband and settle down and have babies. :o) Golly, I'm growing up! LOL Seriously though, I wish I could meet my future husband already. I've been praying religiously for the past couple of months... I want to fall in love again. I'm ready now. :o) I previously said that I'm only going to marry my bestfriend but I guess I could make an exemption.
Anyway, y'all have a beautiful day!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
The service at church today was awesome! My pastor asked the youth to make a commitment to Jesus and the youth responded. Ten years ago, I wanted to become a pastor but my parents were worried that my future wouldn't be stable. It doesn't matter to me though because I know that wherever the Lord puts me, He will take care of my needs.
Last year, I let go of a lot of things that were bogging me down. I've cried every tear imaginable and I've felt every emotion known to man. But I can't live my life stuck in the past. I need to move forward and see what my next step would be.
Everyone that knows me thinks that my life is pretty good. That I have it made. Yes, I did live a privileged life and I have no complains. But people don't see the real me. The struggles I go through, internally and just being reconciled to myself.
I know that my God is real and I know that my God is awesome. I will serve Him all the days of my life and regardless of my circumstance, I will glorify His name.
I have made mistakes the last month and I may have annoyed certain people that were very nice to me. I have apologized and I have felt guilty. I have done my part and right now, maybe God is teaching me to be more patient towards people.
Not everyone would understand God's calling. But when God calls you to serve, every nerve in your body will be aching to go.
I wish I knew God's plan for my life. Sometimes when I can't see the silver lining, I whine as a daughter would to a father. But my trust is in the Lord and everything that I am belongs to Him and Him alone.